Asshole that I am.

I feel so useless. There's no one to talk to. Everyone has their own life while I have these four walls around me. I promised I wouldn't cut anymore and I'll keep that promise. I do want attention, I want someone to want to talk to me. Someone to have long talks with and be able to hang out with. I have friends but my close friends are still in high school while the friends that I graduated with they're going to college. I'm stuck in perpetual childhood mode. I'm afraid of growing up. I feel like killing myself would solve these problems. I'm such a hypocrite, I tell people that they have purpose and words to keep them hopeful and yet here I am, doing what I tell people not to do.