As I come back

Again I cried. I'm going to miss my cousins. I really loved hanging out with them, I felt at home.

When Omar gave me the second hug because I gave him the cologne I felt my eyes start to water. I held them back. When my grandma was giving us el reso y su bendición I let some tears out. When Andres gave me the second hug, I was tearing up. On the plane when I turned on my phone to listen to music "Coming Home" made me start to cry. I honestly would love to stay here and go to school here, I'd be closer to my family.

But is that me being a home body? Should I go to school away from home to learn to take care of myself? Being in Mecca or La Rivera, I won't grow up and take care of myself. I need to leave home but is my home Mecca? Or just wherever I am with my parents?

Home. It's wherever I'm being taken care of and have things handed to me. La Rivera with my aunts and Mecca with my mom.

As I Left

I began to think about my friend Jonathan from 5th grade. He was one of my only friends that I hung out with. He told me to stop letting people tell me what to do. Mostly kids in school. I'd do pretty much anything they told me. I was a push over. We graduated and I want to tell him thanks for that. I never realized that I was a push over in elementary school.

Last night I watched Batman: Under The Red Hood, that movie made me cry so much the first couple times that I watched it alone. Last night I saw it with Katy, she cried while I ranted. Right now on the flight, I just want to cry so much. Jason Todd just wants the dad that left him and to know that Bruce loves him. Then my mom asked me if Katy wanted to come or what her thoughts were on me coming. I told my mom that Katy misses family then I began to cry because it's been so long since she's seen her family and I'm privileged to see them and here come the tears.

It seems that Jason Todd has that affect on me, it takes back into my depression. I'm trying to cry without my mom or dad noticing. All I can think about is finding a place to cry. Some where that I won't be bothered and I cry alone.