Open your wings

When a mother bird wants her babies to fly and leave the nest she pushes them out so they'll learn how to fly. Without that initial push her baby birds would still be in the nest isolated from the rest of the world and trapped. Trapped in the nest without food from their mother the babies would die and they would never grow up to be independent birds on their own.

That is how I feel right now, I need to be pushed out of the nest. I'm afraid how ever like the baby birds who would not jump out of the best on their own. I know that it's best for me to leave the nest but… the fact that I have a but means that I need to be pushed out. The baby birds doesn't know whether they'll fly or die. With me I doubt that I'll die but I'm still afraid. I don't want to open up my alas porque tengo miedo but I know that it's what will cause me to grow.

In the season premiere of Glee Kurt was still living in the town and was at the school. He was stuck. I feel stuck. It's like I've been given so many signs to just leave. Katz, Josh, fortune cookies, Glee for fucks sake. What more do I need? One of my friends told me that I need to leave, she even pointed out the signs to me. As I type this I'm watching a movie where two of the main characters are still living at home, they're parents pay for their bills, and they are stuck as children. If I don't leave will I stay here wishing to have been some where else? Will I be bitter? I don't know the answer but I feel like I need to choose. My options: 1. Stay here and go to community college here 2. See if I can go with Josh to San Diego 3. Some how make it to San Franscico 4. See if I can get to know Katy's cousin and go with him to L.A. I wish I knew the best choice for me.

Yeah…

I never thought graduating would cause so many emotions in me. I see my friends tweeting about high school, how much they don't like some homework or teacher. Then I see the tweets from my friends that are in college and I see they also hate their homework but they have a freedom, the ones who left. I'm stuck here and I don't think I'll leave. I would love to leave but I think my family might try to stop me. I know my mom doesn't want me to leave. I want advice from other people who left. How did they make it? Did anyone try to stop them? Who or what encouraged them to leave?

Mascara

Strangers with masks
What more are we?

Everyone walks around with a facade of who they are.
The image we sell to the world.

Look proper!
My sister says.
"We live in a cruel world where we are judged for how we look."
She told me once.
Shave your beard,
Cut your hair,
Everything to be who you're not.

Put yourself in the golden cage,
Go up on that stage.
And act you're way through life.
For me that would require a wife.

Live a lie
Don't be who you are
That's what life seems to be all about.

Well I say no.
I want a man to love by my side.
I'll let my beard grow.
I won't cut my hair till I well damned like it.
Fuck the act.

I'll admit that sometimes girls turn me on.
Homoflexible
I call myself.
And I still wear a mask.